Last Chance

Understand the hurt – a monologue

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This monologue should be delivered by a middle-aged woman. It is designed to get inside a non-Christian’s head, and can be used to portray to Christians the needs and hurts of those who are not believers. It can also be used in an evangelistic setting. If this raises issues in your life, visit Women Today. [www.womentodaymagazine.]

What’s that? [listening] You think I could make peace with God? You see, that’s the problem. How do you do that? Even if God does exist, do you think He’d really have time to deal with one middle-aged, divorced woman? It’s not like I’ve got a lot to offer Him. I remember the days when I was young, living at home, scared to death of myself and everyone else. I thought about searching for God. But, I guess I was afraid that if I found God He would be like my father.

You know the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father, who art in heaven”? I’d get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I’d pray those words. So, I just stopped praying – praying anything at all.

My shrink says that’s the whole problem: I’ve been trying to live my life so he’d accept me, even now. He’s been dead for 11 years. But when I’m in that place between being awake and being fully asleep, I still dream he’d see me and smile. The only thing I see in the light of day is that strange, numb look: the emptiness behind eyes that let me know how painful I was to behold.

Why is that? He lived in silence with me after mom left us. It was a maddening childhood. He didn’t abuse me; he didn’t scream, yell, or ridicule. He ignored me; he was always looking for something to erase the memory of my mom. Maybe it’s because I was the last reminder of her. He just looked past my eyes, speaking only facts, avoiding any embrace.

I could blame him for my addictions.
I could blame him for my depression.
I could blame him for my emptiness.
I guess I could even blame him for my divorce.

But what good would that do now? Maybe it’s true. Maybe we are just lost souls on the way to an early, desperate grave. Do you believe that? So what’s this church to you? Is it just another club? I’ve seen the inside of too many clubs. Is it a way to numb the pain? I’ve been down that road, too. Is it a way to find something else to feel guilty about? I’d never survive.

Or, will there be an answer? Hope? Grace? I’m at the end of the road. I’m tired of the fight. I just need to be new. That’s the only reason I’d come – if I had a chance … one precious chance to be … whole.

© and author: Matt Tullos, LifeWay Christian Resources Permission: this monologue may be freely performed in any setting without restriction. It may also be copied or redistributed in any form, providing that this credit line is included. A part of the resources.

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